


The Apostate And The Knight Commander: The Three Years Before Act 2

by AllesandraQ



Series: The  Apostate and a Knight Commander [2]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age II
Genre: Angst, Canon Divergence, Character Study, Creep things happen, Developing Relationship, F/M, Fluff, Friendship, Gen, Romance, Tragic Romance, still not going to have a happy ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-07
Updated: 2018-08-07
Packaged: 2019-06-23 08:41:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 12,882
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15602601
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AllesandraQ/pseuds/AllesandraQ
Summary: The three years that happen before the beginning of Act 2.Hades recovers from the death of his brother, works on trying to heal the hurt between his mother and him.  Meredith and Hades get closer as he works on trying to get the Amell estate back in family hands and Meredith finds a powerfully dangerous magical item.Meanwhile he continues to keep one important secret, mainly from the woman he has fallen in love with: That he's a mage.





	1. Interlude- Year One- The Start Of It

**Author's Note:**

> This is a continuation of the series- The Apostate and The Knight Commander- Hades Hawke, my Blue Mage, who through a series of events met Meredith Stannard before he found who she was. 
> 
> The story continues on the relationship between them. And things are set into motion.
> 
> Thank you for the continued encouragement, help and assistance with povs of characters and corrections on other matters- Thank you to Toshi-Nama, Midnight_Rising, BelleInCanada, RedPandaDragon, Buffsea, Darklikehersun,  
> danceswithhamsters01 and everyone else.

**Interlude Year 1- 2 Weeks Later**

 

It took two weeks to get things taken care of and to get a group of people to go back to the Deep Roads to recover Carver's body. Hades went with them, which meant Varric went with him, and so did some of the other members of the Merchants Guild. Who went specifically to make sure Varric came back. Because apparently Varric was now in charge with Bartrand "going off the reservation" as Varric put it. 

Carver's body was where he last left it, still protected by the spells Hades used. While they recovered his body, the guild took the opportunity to go back to the treasure room and grab everything else there. Varric promised to make sure he got his deserved share, per the contract. And he also offered to help grease the wheels with the Viscount in regards to getting the Amell estate back, but Hades said no on that. 

There was a vigil for Carver. Only a few showed up. The ones that mattered. Mother, Uncle Gamlen (Hades refrained from giving his opinion on that to his mother because things were still tense between them), Varric, Merrill, Fenris. Isabela stayed away, which Hades didn't mind. Anders showed up, which made Hades a little tense. He gladly took up Anders offer to work in the clinic for a couple days after that though. No matter how he felt about the mage, working in Anders clinic tested his magic, and tended to exhaust him when he needed it. And after a somber and tense vigil over Carver, he needed it. In the form of two outbreaks no less.

After that, and then falling asleep for twelve hours straight, then spent four hours working his petition at the Viscount's Keep, he dragged himself over to a certain estate in Hightown. Like Meredith had stated, he heard no gossip or rumors about the Knight Commander suddenly using the estate given to her, or that she had a guest from time to time. So she was right- no one would dare gossip about that. 

The meal they had was already prepared, so they had more time to spend together after eating. 

"I really do not feel like going home," he murmurs as Meredith joins him on the long couch. She is once again in an outfit similar to the one she wore last time, her amor hanging up off to the side.  
  
"Still tense I assume?" 

Hades nods. "I'm waiting for it. It should not be long now."

She arches an eyebrow. "For what?"

"The 'It's your fault' outburst," Hades rests his head against the back of the couch, and smiles to himself as their fingers twine together. "She did it with Bethany, she'll do it with Carver."

"It is not your fault he is dead."

He rubs her thumb with his and glances over at her. "Yes it is. She begged me to leave him home, but I told her I needed him and he chose to come."

Meredith does her sigh, the one Hades dubbed as 'I am trying to be patient' sigh. "There it is. He chose to go. Despite her pleas. Therefore it is not your fault. You should believe it as well."

He smiles softly. "I'll keep your words in mind when the outburst happens."

"Do so."

 

 **Interlude Year One- 2 Months Later**  


After the trip to get Carver's body, Varric arranged with the Merchant's Guild three more trips through the way they went. The Merchants Guild had stated they needed to recoup losses made by Bartand, who had taken some of House Tethras and vanished, but not before taking a huge chunk of their generated income with them, according to Varric. 

Still, Varric made sure that the finds made were split fifty/fifty. Some on the Guild had tried to argue it, but somehow Varric got them to shut up. How, Hades does not know, and he preferred not to. 

Apparently more trips were being planned out, which meant that financially, the Hawkes are set.

Emotionally however, things were not.  


Hades was spending less and less time home- either at his room in the Hanged Man, or a room at the Blessed Blades when he felt like splurging, or anywhere else that ensured his mother could not track him down. Viscount Keep to work on the petition to get the Amell estate back, or to help Aveline out, doing mercenary jobs with  Fenris, spending long shifts at Anders clinic, running interference for Isabela (which was getting annoying really quickly), helping Merrill and Varric out when they needed it, or those precious and wonderful few hours here and there spent with Meredith. 

The guilt trips were still coming. Not at venomous as they were in beginning, but they were still there and Hades doubted they would cease. He figured the only way to stop them was for time to eventually pass and her grief to lessen (Not like his was- every time he heard the name Carver, his heart ached and the rest of him silently cried and he had a habit of staring at the hand that plunged the knife into his brother's heart) and for the Viscount to let them have the Amell estate back. 

He was informed the details regarding the estate were delicate, and it would take time. How much, they did not know and did not want to confirm anything.  
  
"More delays?" Aveline looked up from her desk as Hades made way into her office.  
  
Hades sighs and drops into her chair. "Always."  
  
"I am sorry Hawke. I wish I knew how to help."  
  
"Have some work for me? Get me out of the city for a couple days? That might help," Hades tries not to beg, tries to stay casual. He needed something to do. For two weeks now, the only time Hades saw Meredith was for two meals at the Blades. She had her own troubles- briefly mentioning some issues with some of the Starkhaven Mages.  
  
All Hades could think from that was; _Grace._  
  
Aveline pauses. Then gets up, and closes the door before turning to him. "I might have something. Two of my guards have been having some trouble in Lowtown during their patrols. They won't tell me what it is, but I know something is going on."  
  
Hades frowns. "Any reason why they wouldn't tell you?"  
  
"Because they're new?" Aveline sighs. "Some of them feel like they have something to prove, now that I am officially Guard Captain."  
  
"I'll take Fenris and Varric with me...probably Merrill." Hades still could not figure the elven mage, worrying endlessly about her practice of blood magic, even more so now with all the run ins he's had with that magic. She worried him, but not in the same manner of Anders.  
  
"I appreciate this, Hawke."  
  
Hades nods, thankful to have a job of some sort to keep himself busy.

  
  
  


**Interlude-Year One- 2 Weeks Later**

****  
Turned out, the trouble with the patrol turned was more than just two new guardsmen not wanting to pile trouble onto their new Captain.

No, it was a gang. A gang that sprung up and decided harassing and shaking down guardsmen and then beating them up mercilessly if they didn't give them what they wanted was their goal in life. 

It took two days to figure out what was going on, another two days to get four severely wounded guards to tell Hades what was going on, with a desperate promise from one not to to tell Aveline. (Hades just gave the guardsman a look and proceeded to fill Aveline in on that  because one, he was not stupid, and two, he knew better than to cross Aveline like that.) It took a week of Varric and Fenris sniffing out leads and rumors, and then one day of Hades, Merrill, Fenris and Varric hunting down the location of said gang. It was Isabela that got the final lead though, not something Hades expected. He didn't even know she knew what was going on.  


In the end, Hades wound up only getting three to surrender- the leader and his two closest members. He handed them over to Aveline, not feeling any sympathy for them.  



	2. Interlude Year One: A Wish And An Unasked Question

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hades spends some time with Meredith, and wishes for something he cannot tell.
> 
> Varric wants to ask a question, but knows better.

**Interlude Year One: 3 Days Later** **  
** **Knight Commander Estate**

****  
**  
** "So the problem is sorted now that the Guard Captain has them?"

Hades nods as he sets the empty dirty dishes in the small bucket of water. 

"I heard no sympathy in tone," Meredith states.    


"Crossing Aveline is not something that makes me sympathetic," Hades states, looking over at her as he grabs a cloth to wipe the dishes. "Those people were hurting the force that is part of the protection of Kirkwall, all for some coin. There was no reason behind it, besides greed and malice."

"Your friendship with the Guard Captain is certainly interesting to hear about."

"She was there for me when I needed her," Hades says simply. "and I for her, during our trip to Kirkwall. Both of us grieving in our own ways." The double loss of Wesley and Bethany made for a tense, grief stricken boat trip, but somehow Aveline and Hades leaned against each other when the grief got too much and they had nowhere to turn to. Hades didn't want to make it worse for his mother, and he needed to appear strong for Carver's sake.   


"I am glad she was able to help."

There's a moment of silence and then Hades looks over at Meredith who is standing there, watching him wash away the remnants of their meal together, her blue eyes not quite looking at him but taking on a distant look.   


"Can you tell me about him?" 

Her gaze focuses, turns to him. "Who?"

"The Templar, the one that was there for you, that gave you the shield you carry." She had told him during that talk of theirs on the Wounded Coast. The templar that gave her his shield to hide behind while her sister killed so many, the Templar that encouraged her in her desire and drive to become a Templar herself, the Templar she visited until he died.    


She stiffens just a little, but not much. After a moment, she sighs and walks over to where Hades is standing, takes a cloth that was next to them and starts to clean the other dishes. 

"He was a good man," she says after a moment, her stance softening, her voice as well.    


As they wash the dishes, she talks, quietly about the Templar that helped shape the direction of her life. All Hades does is listen, grateful to get another piece.    


While also wishing he could share a specific piece about himself.    
  
  
  
  


**Interlude- Year One- A Month Later**

Varric was bursting to ask a question.    


More specifically a question to the mage that was going over the ledger that Varric had given him, that was detailing some of the things that were being given to him from the latest haul that the Guild brought up from the Deep Roads.    


He wanted to ask Hades about the Knight Commander.    


It was the writer in him. He was already plotting some sort of story of Hades, the Deep Roads stuff was good material, if tragic. He didn't want to make light of what happened to Carver and Hades, but he knew readers would eat it up.    


"Varric, you seem restless," Hades says without looking up.    


"I am?" 

"You have been drumming your fingers on that table for five minutes now, dwarf," Broody speaks up.    


Varric looks down at his fingers and immediately drops his hand in his lap.    


"Everything looks fine here," Hades pushes the ledger back. "Make sure some of it is set aside for Fenris."

"Hades."

"Fenris. You came along, you deserve some."

Fenris glowers. "I do not need charity."

"It's not charity, Fenris. This is me giving you your fair share," Hades counters. Varric watches avidly as the elf and Hawke bicker over this. He wisely decides to not say anything about how all the proceeds that have been arranged for Hades so far have also been split into some for Fenris and that when the Guild is done with their blasted trips, Fenris will have a sizeable haul himself. 

He hopes he's there to witness it when Fenris realizes it. 

 


	3. Interlude Year One: A kiss, Chantry Politics, Grief

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hades and Meredith get a little more time together, then Meredith gets unwelcome news from the Grand Cleric. 
> 
> Leandra and Hades are still struggling with their grief over Carver.

**Interlude- Year One- Knight Commander Estate- A Month Later**

  
  


Each kiss is like a lightning strike.  
  
As he sits on this couch, leaning into Meredith as they kiss, all he can think is that this is what it feels like. Every time they kiss, it's like that. It races through him, shivering down his spine and tingling his skin.    


The coolness of Meredith melts into heat, the caution he holds fades away, and although they do not rush or push, he feels lost when he is with her like this.    


In the months since their first kiss, they have not done much beyond this. Sitting down, holding each other while kissing. The passion burns between them, but they find ways to keep it from overwhelming each other, as if they know better than to rush or go too quickly.    


He pulls back from their current kiss, letting his thumb sweep over the soft skin of her neck, the tips of his fingers just brushing the edges of her hair as his other hand stays at her waist, feeling the heat of her skin just under her clothes.    


He closes his eyes briefly as he feels her fingers card through his hair, which has gotten a little longer the past few months. 

"I suppose I am due for a haircut," he murmurs.   


"I would not presume," she says, her tone coming across indifferent at first, but he hears the amusement. "It is not my hair."

"It is mine though and it's more useful short." Although he does like her fingers running through it.    


"It is why I do not have mine longer than it is," She says, kissing him once more. He feels her skin tremble a little, and knows she feels what he feels. But he also knows their time is almost up, and it is confirmed when she pulls away. 

"Dinner at the Blades tomorrow?" He asks. They make it a point to have some of their meals at the Blades, so her routine continues, so gossip does not form.  The two of them eating together in that corner of theirs has become well known now. 

"For right now it stands," Meredith heads over to the armor stand. He leans back in the couch, watching as she starts to put the pieces of armor on over her clothing. It is something he has started doing recently, an act she is letting him do. 

To him, this is another wall down, another moment of intimacy between them. Another piece of puzzle that is the two of them that works into place. Despite that he is a mage, he likes watching her don her armor, piece by piece. 

There's something about it he cannot put a finger to nor name, but he enjoys it nonetheless.

 

 

 

**Interlude-Year One- The Chantry- A Week Later**

 

Meredith frowns. "Sister Petrice's promotion is not what I was expecting, Grand Cleric." While Chantry politics was not her purview, the Sister's schemes of disracting one of her templars from his duty made her unhappy and she had made her unhappiness clear with the Grand Cleric. 

The very fact the Sister was now a Revered Mother... Meredith could not understand.

"It will keep her busy," Elthina says, not looking up from the tome that has the written Chant. "And away from your templars. That is the point."

"She gets rewarded for her schemes?" This is.. this is not what she expected. "Grand Cleric, I am not trying to overstep my bounds here, I am not trying to question you, but she had one of my templars--"

"Meredith." 

Meredith goes quiet at the firm tone of the Grand Cleric who now turns away from the tome to face her. 

"Things are done differently here," the Grand Cleric says firmly, but her tone is gentle. "You know that. You did what you had to do with your wayward Templar. I did what was needed for my wayward Sister. She will no longer be able to participate in such schemes, as she will be far too busy with the responsibilities given to her as a Revered Mother. I know what I am doing, my dear girl. Just like you say you know what you are doing."

Meredith feels the rebuke now, and she looks down. Put in her place, she understands. It grates, but she understands. She does not like it, but she takes it. The Chantry is not her domain, therefore the fact that she was given word of what was happening was enough. 

 

**Lowtown- Gamlen's Home**

 

Hades headache was brewing. 

"If only--"

"Leandra," Gamlen's voice cuts in and Hades could have hugged the contrary man. "That is enough. Your son is working hard to fix things, and I am getting tired of hearing your lecturing and whining. I cannot even hear myself think with it all. Give the boy a break, and let him go to bed. We all need some rest." 

_ Thank you Uncle Gamlen. _

Hades loves his mother, he does. But her grief made her harsh. While he grieved silently, she grieved loudly. While her lashings have lessened the last few weeks, when they happened they had a way of opening a wound that was healing

Uncle Gamlen of all people was now running interference, although for his own reasons. He was probably waiting (and hoping oh so hoping ) for the moment that  the moment Hades, Leandra, and Luthias  moved out.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Luthias is the mabari.


	4. Interlude- Year One: Healing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hades and Leandra start to truly heal from Carver's death.

**Interlude- Year One- Knight Commander Estate**   
  
  


Their dinner done, Hades relaxed against the back of the sofa, once more watching Meredith don pieces of her amor over her clothing. It was something that had become part of their routine, when they took their meals in her home. He enjoyed it, watching her. 

A part of him wondered about that. Every time she put on a piece of armor, the Meredith he ate and spoke with, the Meredith he kissed and held hands with; that Meredith was being put back, piece by piece. With each piece of armor, his Kirkwall was covered by Meredith Stannard, Knight Commander.   
  
But somehow instead of regretful or resigned at seeing that part of her covered, he found himself intrigued and relaxed. Instead of feeling like he should be on his guard and tense (which he should- his glamoured staff was always laying on the table as reminder), he wasn’t. 

It was because, while she was becoming the Knight Commander once more, she was not fully the Knight Commander until she left the estate. There was still a little peak of his Kirkwall, evident by the current gleam in her eyes as she notices his attention. 

He smiles in return and she simply shakes her head.    
  
Reality starts to leak through his appreciation of her as he realizes he will soon have to head back to Gamlen's.

Mother...Mother has gone quiet the past few days, and he’s wondering and dreading on what is going through her. He cannot bring himself to head back home tonight.  
  
“Would it be too much to ask if slept here tonight?” He asks quietly. “I’ll make sure to wake and leave  in the early morning.”   
  
Ice blue eyes connect with his, but the there is concern there.    
  
“We had barely a glass of wine between the two of us,” She observes, tightening her brace.   
  
“I.. don’t feel like heading back home.”    
  
She frowns. “Is it getting worse?”   
  
“I don’t know? It’s… changed.”   
  
She nods. “If you leave before the sun rises it should be fine.”   
  
He smiles. “Thank you Kirkwall.”   
  
She arches an eyebrow and once done with her last bit of armor she strides over. He makes as to get up from the couch, but she stops him.

“Stay,” she murmurs, and before he can say anything, her lips press against his, a spark runs down his spine,  and his hand aches to run through her brushed hair, hair he messed up a little earlier when they indulged just a little. But he doesn’t, and the spark fades as the kiss ends. 

“Always,” he ends up murmuring, not able to keep the word at bay. 

She arches an eyebrow at that, but thankfully does not comment, simply straightens and leaves the sitting room. Moments later he hears the sound of the door shutting and Hades lets out a groan. 

“Always,” he grumbles, shaking his head at himself. “Idiot.”

  
  


**  
Interlude- Year One- The Chantry- One Month Later  
  
  
**

It started two weeks ago with Mother knocking on his bedroom door and asking a question. 

"Can you come with me to the Chantry?" 

The request was surprising enough that Hades found himself saying yes. They had only gone to the Chantry three times since he came back from the Deep Roads. Mainly in regards to Carver and services. 

Now two weeks later, Hades has accompanied his mother to the Chantry for morning services five times, and here he was again. 

In between the services, during one dinner at the Blessed Blades, he talked to Meredith about this. Her first few questions were about what he was taking away from going there. He wasn’t surprised. Her faith was a big part of her, and no doubt his… uncertainty was something she was concerned about. He told her about how he felt- mostly that while he tried to take heart of some of the things said, his wariness of what was going on with Mother was his main concern. 

She became his sounding board about that, and in the end told him perhaps that maybe his Mother was finally finding a way to heal,and that by having him come along- it was her way of apologizing. 

The morning services were not long, compared to the evening services. They seemed simple, and the sermons delivered seemed peaceful a couple of the lectures took a deceptive edge in tone in regards to magic and mages, and Hades found himself feeling uncomfortable. The only thing that made up for it was the look of apology from Mother during those times.

He wondered if the services were helping Mother, as Meredith suggested.  He hoped they were, he hoped something was. He was tired of being the recipient of the grief.

At the end of service, Hades stayed in his seat as Mother had gone up to the Sister who had delivered the sermon. They talked briefly, before Mother turned around, apparently looking for him. Once she spotted him, she waved him over.

As he strode forward, his steps faltered a little as he recognized the Sister- no the Grand Cleric, he corrected himself. 

The Sister that delivered the sermon was no longer there. 

"I don't know if you met my son, Grand Cleric," Mother was saying as Hades closed the gap. She placed a hand on his arm. "This is Hades."

"Ahh yes, I do know him. He helped Brother Vael," the Grand Cleric's voice was smooth and calm, and her (to him wise and shrewd)  eyes met his. "I have heard you name on the lips of many citizens young Hades." 

"Good things I hope?" Hades asks, trying not to be nervous.

A slight smile. "Good things. You have done and continue to do  many good things for Kirkwall. I appreciate it, and so do the people too.” 

Hades does his best not to react to the word Kirkwall. The name of the city has a different meaning for him and it would not do well to think of it in front of the Grand Cleric. 

"I do hope we see the two of you more often. The first year after the loss of a loved one is always the hardest, and one must not isolate themselves from the support we offer," Grand Cleric Elthina says in a firm tone. It's not quite ordering or commanding, but there's a manner to it that makes Hades want to say yes, yes he will come often. 

"Sometimes, needing a renewal in faith can help with the grieving process. Now I must tend to other matters, but it was good to see young again Leandra Hawke. You as well, Messere Hawke." 

Hades nods to her and watches her walk away. As she does, he feels Mother place a hand on his arm and he turns to her.

Regret is visible all over her face, tears in her eyes.

"I am so sorry my dear boy," her voice is a whisper. "I know you have borne my grief and it is not deserved."

Hades's throat tightens. "No it wasn't," His words are tight, choked. "It was bad enough you blamed me for Bethany, but you added on Carver-- I'm sorry they died Mother, so sorry they died.. I'm sorry I could not protect them the way I promised Father, but your anger hurt."

Her hand cups his cheeks, and he blinks. "I realize that now, Hades. Your father would be ashamed of how I have been acting, and I am ashamed of myself. I hope in time you forgive me."

He wants to, he really wants to. But the last few months cannot be washed away just by this. "It will take time," he admits. "I love you Mother, but some of the things you said--"

She nods, tears falling and his own cheeks feel wet too. "I know. I do not blame you for that, I just hope in time you can. Coming here, listening to the sermons and speaking with the Sisters, with the Grand Cleric, it's opened my eyes. It had been such a long time since we gone to a Chantry service. Lothering, before Carver came with warnings about the Darkspawn. Will you come with me to more of these services?"

It seems Mother has found what she needed. Hades looks away from her and finds himself now looking at the statue of Andraste. 

Father was very big on faith, tried to impress it upon everyone in the family. Bethany and Mother took to it, Carver seemed indifferent,  Hades.. faltered. 

Varric was Andrastian, he knew that. Merrill had her own beliefs, he knew Fenris was coming here occasionally, Isabela- well she only believed in herself, Aveline had her belief in justice. Anders, during some of their talks in the clinic, believed. He quoted the Chant sometimes, spoke about Andraste. Apparently he was partial to the Tevinter belief that Andraste was a mage. 

Meredith... her faith drove her, guided her. She believed utterly. With conviction, focus, and determination. He admired that about her. 

Perhaps it was time for him to take a chance. To put some trust in this Chantry. One step at a time of course. He still had to be careful. 

"All right," he agrees, turning back to Mother, who smiles widely in response. 

 


	5. Interlude- Year One: The New Year Soon Comes

**Interlude Year One- Almost the New Year**  
  
  
  
The next few months for Hades, his family, and company pass in a blur of sorts.

More jobs ares sent his way- word of mouth spreads quickly, he inadvertantly ends up doing a couple jobs that benefit the Qunari. The Arishok doesn't say much about that, other than his usual words, but seems to be grateful? He's not sure. Fenris was with him each time, and Fenris didn't seem troubled by anything that happened durign them.  
His petition to get the Amell estate back in Mother's hands continues to move slowly. The one stumbling block is that essentially Mother has to get ten of Kirkwall noble families to basically go before the Viscount and help plead the case for her family home to be given back to her.  
  
Not an easy thing to do, considering most of these families, while were once friends of the Amells and got along just fine with his now late grandparents, were apparently not quite willing to forgive Leandra for her apparent trespasses against her family.

_Or as one Comte put it; "You shamed, humiliated, embarrassed, and brought scandal to your family and family name. You might as well have spit in their faces Leandra Amell Hawke. Why in the name of the Maker should I prostate myself to the Viscount on your behalf?"_  
  
It took every little bit of strength and will that Hades had not to lose his temper. His temper for the most part had always been slow boiling, but that one very tense interaction had him biting his cheek so hard he drew blood.

Despite that battle, things seemed to be getting better. He and Mother continued to go to Chantry services. If he didn't go because of jobs or other matters, she went by herself. They started healing, together, and visited the site of Carver's grave a couple times when they felt like they could.  
  
He did a couple more jobs with Fenris, worked the clinic with Anders, helped Merrill out when she tried to do things with the Alienage or needed some help with something. As much as he tried to distance himself from her, he found himself caring about the elven mage.  
  
Athenril reached out to him a couple times more, and as much as he hesitated doing another job for her, (after his deception with the last one), he reluctantly did so.  
  
Things with Meredith were also going along- they still moved slowly with each other. Hades was well aware he held a part of himself back, the secret of him being a mage a cause of that. She also held a part of herself back, he knew. They both confessed their feelings for each other, how they felt, but they still held themselves back a little.  
He knew it was due to her vows, her faith, her work as a templar. He knew that a part of her was conflicted about what they were doing. To the void, so was he. He knew how spectacularly bad this could all end up and yet could not stay away from her.  
  
At the end of the year, Varric settled up two accounts that got transferred to him. The amount of money made him blink a few times, shake his head and then reread the final amount. It was enough to make him not have to worry about bills needing to be paid or having to take jobs, plus according to Varric they were still working out the numbers on other accounts created by their hauls from the Deep Roads. The Merchants Guild finally stopped going back for more after a cave in killed fifteen workers and six dwarves.  
But what truly made the end of his year, was a message he got. Hades wasn't sure if he would get one in reply- he had slipped a note into her things two days prior, knowing that they wouldn't be able to see each other again until the new year came around.

He didn't open it until he went to bed that night, knowing he would wake up to the new year soon.  
  
The letter simply said;  
  
_"May Andraste guide your new year to everything you wish to achieve._  
  
_Your Kirkwall."_


	6. Interlude- Year 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A figure from Hades's past, specifically a Magistrate, causes problems for Hades and Leandra as they petition to get the Amell Estate back in their hands.

**Interlude- Year 2- Six Months Later**

The first six months of the new year actually goes well.  
  
The odds and ends jobs he did for the various noble families of Kirkwall are finally paying off.  
  
At first most of the families originally turn their nose up at Mothers pleas for their support. But then some nobles who realize that Hades who had done favors and jobs for them and has been ever so helpful, happened to be Leandra's son. These nobles had in the past, offered to return favors to Hades if he ever needed to. Which they did with this, when Hades politely and nicely informed them of that. Because of his dealings with the nobility of Kirkwall, within six months he gets five families to agree to help Leandra plead their case.  
  
Not for her though they tell him, but for _him._  
  
Despite how much it makes his jaw ache, Hades simply smiles and accepts it.

However, after getting five families, Hades hit a stumbling block.  
  
In the form of Magistrate Vanard, the father of the killer Kelder.  
  
True to his word after Hades had returned, the Magistrate had shown how much trouble he could cause, how much of a headache he could be. He had a vendetta against Hades, for the death of his son, and he finally had a chance to use it. Six other families, a mix of ones he had and hadn't helped out, were essentially under the Magistrate's thumb. He had something on each of them it seemed, even though they didn't say anything.  
  
Hades was only able to start putting it together because Fenris had spotted the Magistrate talking to one of the nobles just a day before Hades had. When Hades had originally set up a meeting to talk to him about the petition, Lord Cavar was willing. The day they ended up meeting, the Lord was not.  
  
Anders offered the use of his own sources- Fenris had tracked Hades down at the clinic to let him know what he saw, so Anders heard the conversation. His sources were kids on the streets of Hightown that pick-pocketed and spied on the comings and goings of templars it seems, and ones that needed his free services regularly. (When he first found out about that, Hades's heart skipped a couple beats, because he was absolutely sure that he must have a couple watching out for Meredith- but Anders never said anything to him..) Fenris snorted at Anders offer, making it clear of his own opinion, but not wanting to offend the mage in his own space, Hades tentatively agreed.

In two days, the rest of the puzzle was put together. Magistrate Vanard was blackmailing the noble families to prevent them from helping Hades and his mother.

  
  
It was why he was here now, at the Keep, talking to Aveline.

"Hawke..."

And not going to get anywhere quickly based on the reluctance in that word.

"Aveline, please. We're halfway there, and the Magistrate has made it stall out. There has to be a way to prove that he's abusing his position, blackmailing or pressuring families with something.

Aveline sighs as she moves up from her desk. He knows he has her in her one way, he's gotten to know Aveline in this regard. She does care about the law, and the law is being abused here. By someone who took an oath to uphold it.

"Look, Hawke...if you find any evidence...but I can't act just on your say-so." She kept talking over him. "Even if you're right, that's not the way the Guard works."

Not anymore, she meant. But Hades got the point.

Proof. Proof that was apparently needed other than the word of the witness- Fenris- that was next to him.

"No offense," she added offhandedly after she was done with that part.

Fenris made that little cough laugh sound, although there was no humor in the laugh.

 

**Interlude: Year 2- Two Days Later**  
**The Blessed Blades**  
  
Meredith watched as Hades ate his food, noticing his agitation.  
  
She had known of the struggles with the petition, how it had been advancing quite well, but then hit a stumble. Yes's turning into no's.  
  
She waited, patiently, for she knew whatever was brewing in her Ferelden's head would soon be said.  
  
It did not take long.  
  
"How would you go about proving someone is blackmailing others?"  
  
Well, she did not expect that question.  
  
"You have thoughts that people are being blackmailed?" She counters.  
  
He nods, looking frustrated and she also sees the exhaustion in him. |

"You remember.. that time I was talking about Kelder?" He asks hesitantly.  
  
Meredith takes the time to think back on their many conversations. "When we were first meeting here? Something about a Magistrate yes?"

Hades nods. "His father wasn't happy with the results. Kelder begged for--"

"Death. One of your companions delivered the onus." The marked elf, the one he calls Fenris who has unique talents due to his markings. "His father was the Magistrate, I believe you told me later. He is causing you issues now?"

"I have witnesses telling me that he's talking to certain nobles, ones who seemed open to my request to help us with our petition, but then changed their minds when I came to them."  
  
She sees the frustration rolling off of him, as his free hand moves from his lap and into his hair.  
  
"The witnesses are not enough evidence?"

He shakes his head. "Aveline, she wants more. Proof, besides eye witnesses. Because clearly Fenris isn't enough."  
  
No, the word of an elf would not be enough. Even for someone who is friends with the Guard Captain. She would even admit to be hard pressed to take the world of an elf seriously, if she had no knowledge of his association with Hades nor seen those lyrium markings on him. She had made quite inquiries about them, one of her sources had reached out to the Tevinter Imperium itself, and received an answer of " _He is capable of much and possibly anything. The ritual used is not a well known one and perhaps if Danarius could get his slave back we would be able to find out much more."_  
  
It does seem however the new Guard Captain is trying to run things differently  however.  
  
"I wasn't trying to push Aveline or use our friendship," Hades frowns, as if he was worried that had might have appeared that way.

"That is not your way, and from what you have told me about Guard Captain Valen, she simply wishes to do things how she views it must be done, and I do agree with her on that. You do need evidence, usuable evidence, other than the hearsay of a witness who could be easily--"

"Dismissed because of prejudices," Hades finishes off, looking offended at his friend's behalf.

His loyalty to those he is close to is something she has come to admire and respect. She has very few she can trust so easily, and give her loyalty to.

"How would you go about it..if it was one of your templars?"

The subject that rarely gets brought up when they are together. "Similar to how your Gaurd Captain goes about it. Viable, untainted proof. Sometimes sources at your hand can help with that. Eyewitnesses can only do so much, say so much without evidence to back it up. In your case, your eyewitness is your companion, Fenris. You need someone--"

"Someone human," he mutters.

Not often is she reminded that he is indeed younger than she is, (his looks alone confirm it) but his disgruntled offense about having to look beyond his elven companion testimony because it will be simply dismissed shows that even though he knows this is how the world works, he still gets upset.

She wonders if Fenris realizes how good an ally he has in his corner.

 


	7. Interlude- Year Two: Blackmailer Undone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Magistrate is finally undone, and Hades quietly celebrates one stumbling block out of the way with his Kirkwall.

**Interlude- Year 2**

 

 

It took a month.

At first Hades debated approaching Sebastian Vael, but he knew the man essentially was now part of the Chantry, doing his bes to shed his noble past. He did not want to use what he did for the man's peace of mind for his gain. Getting Mother her home back is not worth doing that.

However, what helps in the end is the middle son of a noble family that started to put Hades off on meeting with them. Hades had helped the young man out of a spot of trouble during his time working for Athenril, and when the young man overheard a conversation between the magistrate and his father, he reached out to Hades.  
Fenris and Varric both told him he had to refrain from meeting the son, to not be seen in case anyone else comes forward with testimony to counter. That Hades was to do what he was known for doing- to continue doing the odd job and of course continuing his work with the petition, while Fenris and Varric took care of the rest.

Varric sent a couple people he knew that were quite good at digging. With that and the son's help, it was soon found out that Lord Havensworth paid Magistrate Vanard a good amount of soveriegns to look the other way on his eldest son's troubles. Apparently the Magistrate and Lord Havensworth even had a notarized document about it.

That, combined with a couple letters that were found by the son, showed exactly what the Magistrate was trying to do.

"Idiots always leave evidence," Varric said with a laugh when they found it.

Varric encouraged the son to take the documents and go directly to the Guard, and request an audience with Guard Captain Vallen.

Two days later, Guard Captain Vallen had confessions from Lord Havensworth and his wife.

Three more days after that, other documents and testimony from other nobles being pressured by the Magistrate dealing with past issues ranging from minor embarrassments to shocking scandals were uncovered.

Magistrate Vanard was soon arrested, as well as a few other nobles whose crimes needed to be addressed, Guard Captain Aveline Vallen was heard saying without sympathy to one crying nobleman.

Hades watched it all, from a distance, and he got two yes's for Mother's petition on the day the Magistrate was arrested, publically lead out of his home during the day. Aveline took the long the route, deliberately going by as many nobles as she could.

"This feels satisfying to watch," Fenris states from Hades's right, amusement lurking in his friend's voice, green eyes gleaming.

As much as Hades would like to say he doesn't take pleasure in such things, that it would not be right to take satisfaction in someone's misery, he could not prevent the slight smile that appeared.

"Indeed."

 

 

**Interlude- Year Two- A Week Later**  
**The Knight Commander's Estate**

  
Meredith finds herself appreciating the view of a satisfied Hades. There's something about it, that makes her want to see it more. She finds after the troublesome weeks of dealing with Orsino, a mage apprentice, and some antics by some of her newer templars, that a satisfied Hades free from stress as rewarding as her prayers to Andraste and her work as Knight Commander.

The trouble with the Magistrate done with, a load seems to be lifted from her Fereldan's mind. He's nearly complete with getting the ten families to agree.

"You are quite satisfied with yourself," She points out as she takes a seat on the couch,

He grins, and her heart skips a beat, her skin feeling warm a little as that grin seems to reach inside her.

"I know it's not polite to be satisfied about it- so many people did some awful things for him to be able to do what he did in the first place, but--"

"It is justice," she finishes for him, and he laughs a little at that. "Justice that is done well. It exposed the ugliness of others, with as little harm to the innocents in all of this. That is the type of justice to take satisfaction in."

"Well said, Kirkwall."

"Of course. It is how I insist my investigations go. The ugly truth exposed before the innocent can be hurt." Her thoughts travel to the mess she had dealt with just days before.

A gently hand clasps hers- his warm touch bringing her out of her thoughts and to him. His warm brown eyes meet hers, concerned.

"Still dealing with what happened with Ser Remhold and the mage apprentice... Georgina right?"

She's not surprised he remembered the name. One of their prior visits had her venting about an incident, as her prayers to Andraste for once were not working, her faith leaving her frustrated. Another mage's curse ruining a good templar and cutting their own life short. She normally did not bring the Gallows to her times with Hades- they have only so much as it is. Same with him- but sometimes when they seem to need to the most, it does.

In truth it felt good having someone hear it- she bears it alone and has done so for many years. She never resented it, her position requires the strength she has to bear such burdens. She still does not- it is part of who she is.

But being able to share, just a little, with the man she has come to love, is worth it.

Is this what Elthina meant? How this would help with her strength to her duty, to her faith? She did not need to fall in love to find strength, she knew that. She had it always, with her, around her. Her faith was her strength.

Hades's quiet support, his own strength, his own reach for faith was like a bolster. Even Andraste had those by her side to help and support.

  
*************

"It's finished," she sighs. "Not with results I would have liked, but at least there were no others harmed."

No, he did not doubt that. She would have made sure of that. He sensed that day, during her venting, that she only told him so much that would help her, but did not reveal all. It was all right- he simply hoped his presence was enough at the time.

"That's the important part," Hades says softly, bringing the hand he is holding up, kissing the back of it and then flipping her hand over and kissing her palm.  
  
He keeps his lips pressed gently against her wrist, at that point where he can feel the faint beat of her heart. He closes his eyes as her free hand moves, fingers sliding through his hair. He shifts closer, moving his head upwards so when he opens his eyes, both meet.  
  
Her free hand twines with his as his other hand rests on her hip, her fingers in his hair continuing to move through it, before resting on the fringes of his neck and their foreheads end up resting against each other.

Her touch is always something he enjoys, same with her presence. While she can still be reserved, something he thinks that will be there, still be a bit distant, hard or even cold, he doesn't take offense nor wish for anything different. He fell in love with her seeing all of that. Everything he has learned or gotten to see- she is so much more than just the Knight Commander of the Gallows, so much more than the templar that rules with an iron fist and a hard heart.

She is Meredith Stannard, a woman of faith, conviction, duty, resolution. She can be cold and hard, she has the harsh strength that is needed to do the hard decisions.

But she is also who she is right now. A little soft, a little warmth with the coolness, a little heat with the ice, compassion with the hardness.... he could go on, but he feels his mind wouldn't stop thinking of everything she is.

"I love you Kirkwall," he lets the word flow free- words they say sparingly, but he feels now is a good time to reaffirm.

"Hmmm," he doesn't need to move his head away to know there is that slight smile, to know that the spark will gleam in her eyes. Her hand tightens on his neck. "I love you as well, Fereldan."


	8. Interlude- Year Three: Dangerous Magic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meredith comes across a certain dwarf with an item of magical power. She does what she can to protect Kirkwall itself.

**Interlude- Year 3- 4 Months Into the Year**  
**Chantry Courtyard**

 

Meredith can sense the insidious magic just from where she is.

It calls out to her, her templar training ringing throughout her entire body. She had taken her dose of lyrium just two hours before leaving the Gallows, so right now anything strong in magic would certainly be calling out to her.  
  
The dwarf was holding it.

Not just any dwarf.

Bartrand Tethras.

He's pacing, muttering things to himself, clutching an item to his person as if it's his very life.

She puts up a hand and turns to one of the templars with her.

"Hand me the box," she orders.

It would have to do for now. If that item is what she thinks it is (from what she has gleaned from her own sources and Hades) - then it is dangerous and she must refrain from handling it.

She eyes the other Templar with her as the one on her left hands her the box. While it looks like a simple little thing, it is essentially an enchanted container that all templars use to hold onto dangerous magical items. "Head to the Gallows and inform First Enchanter Orsino to be prepared to open the vault."

"Yes, Knight Commander." That one heads off and she glances briefly at the other one.

"You keep by me, you watch, and you ready yourself," she orders. "He may not be stable. We need to secure that item."

"Yes, Knight Commander."

 

*********

She eyes the box sitting on the bench in the boat, feeling uneasy. The strength of it's magic is incredible and she can feel the tendrils of it reaching out, trying to whisper to her. Before it was in the box, it took ever ounce of her fortitude, her strength, and her will to resist the lure of it. Before she was able to convince the ranting dwarf to part with it (by waving a pouch of soveriegns in front of him) she could feel the pulse brightly, and she prayed to Andraste to help keep her strength at bay from the insidious magic.

She heard the whispers, even though the words were not clear, but she felt such conviction behind it.

The item, a grotesque looking idol that was a deep dark red color, was dropped into the box and the enchantments in it seem to be keeping most of it's power at bay.

It needs to be put in the vault, quickly. Then it must be carefully studied, however it can be, so they can figure out a way to destroy it.

With that thought, she feels another whisper reach out to her, and this time the words are clear.

_Do not fear the certainty of you convictions, your goals, your desire to protect Kirkwall. Do not fear what Andraste put before you._

She shudders, and forces herself to turn away and glare at the Templar. "Get us there quicker. Now."

 

**The Gallows- The Magical Artifacts Vault**  
**Beneath The Templar Barracks**

"Perhaps we should examine it further--"

"No," she cuts of the First Enchanter, not in the mood to deal with his curiosity. "It needs to be in the vault. Now."

The elf gives her a frustrated glare. "Knight Commander I must--"

"Orsino, we will argue about this later when it is safely behind these enchantments," she says this time her tone cold and hard. "Continue to delay me and you will find your privileges revoked for two weeks."

He sighs in resignation and the heavy door slowly swings open.

She takes a deep breathe, walling up everything in her, as the box sets in her hands, and the whispers try to force their way back into her mind.

Trying to lead her into temptation.

Trying to get her to do something she will not do.

She has far more morals and conviction than a greedy dwarf. She will not fall pray to some magical artifact, obviously forged by blood magic.

*It is not magic of blood. I do not need that. Your strength, your conviction. You can do so much more of what you yearn.*

Meredith clenches her jaw, staring straight ahead as that whisper broke through her will. She will **not** fall.

She wields the strength of her faith and duty. No mere trinket, no matter how powerful can override faith in the Maker and Andraste.

It feels like time stretches before the enchantments are brought down, and she is finally able to place the box in container. Once done, she steps further away as Orsino uses his curse to redo the wards, the enchantments. With each one up, she feels less of it's power.

Minutes later, they are finally out of the vault, and with the heavy door shut, and the enchantments redone here, the whispers are gone.

She sighs in relief.

"No one is to examine that artifact without heavy protections and guards," She orders. "And no one will have permission to do so without going through me explicitly. The first one that ignores my command will be in solitary. For six months. Do I make myself clear?"

The elven First Enchanter stares at her balefully, as she notices his own jaw as clenched tightly as hers was moments ago. "Perfectly."


	9. Interlude- Year Three- Varric

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a short chapter, but think of it as the interlude during the interlude. heh.

**Interlude- Year Three- 2 Weeks Later**   
**Lowtown- Hanged Man**

 

 

"Hawke," Varric greets the tired looking mage as he enters his room. "You look like--"

"Nothing good I bet," Hades Hawke says with a slight smile. Despite the exhaustion evident on his friend's face, he seems to be in a good mood.

The question is, for what reason? Time spent dangerously with a certain Knight Commander or time well spent in the Viscount's Keep?

Varric knows he can only ask about one of those, safely. His friend seems to be very good at keeping this close, and knowing how delicate one matter is, Varric decides to give his writers curiosity a quick swift punt to the side.

Besides, he doesn't need Broody glowing in his doorway.

"Good news my friend?"

"Plenty. The petition, with all ten noble families support has been officially heard by the Viscount. I should be hearing back on a decision I was told in seven days time."

"Give it a month."

Hades chuckles. "I'm trying to be hopeful, Varric."

"Careful with that. Kirkwall tends to take hope and smash into little pieces. Usually cynicisim and pessimism are what is left of it," Varric warns but does it in his usual way. Will it sink in though?

"You take your cynicism and pessimism Varric, while I can take the hopefulness and optimism. There's enough from both of us to balance it out," Hades counters. "Besides, look at the company I keep, I have cynicism and pessimism with my constantly."

He thinks of Broody, of Vallen, of Rivaini. Blondie, although his is different story. And of himself.

  
Daisy is the only who is...well she has her own brand of hope, mixed in with some depressing fatalism. But you don't realize it until after you walk away from the conversation.

"Well then, who I am to deny you your refreshing hope and optimism? Who knows, maybe Kirkwall needs it." In more ways than one, Varric's mind switches again over to that image of Hawke and the Knight Commander embracing each other on the Wounded Coast.

Hades smiles then, wide and genuine, and despite how tired he looks, Varric notes it reaches his eyes.

Yes, his friend was happy indeed.

He definitely was not going to burst that bubble for him.

"So, almost all the accounts are settled up, most likely by the time you officially move into your rightful home the last few will be closed," Varric switches over to business then, feeling it would be a safer topic to broach, despite his writer's curiosity desperately clawing at the cliffs to try and take over everything else.


	10. Interlude- Year Three- Tevinter, News, Prayers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hades gets news, also finds out some of his parents past.
> 
> Meredith deals with some troublesome thoughts.

**Year Three Interlude**   
**Gamlen's Home- 10 Days Later**

  
"They said seven days," Mother frets fom his bedroom doorway. "Could they have lost the petition? Oh Hades, dear. I hate to think how all that hard work you did being lost. I doubt very much the families that agreed to help would be willing to go through all that again."

"Mother," Hades tugs on his boots, and as he stands up, takes hold of his staff, quietly casting the usual glamour charm on it. "Stop fretting. Varric did tell me that it might take longer. It's only been three days past. Stop worrying and fretting."

Mother takes a deep breath and then lets it out slowly, as if she's counting also while doing so. Then after a moment she smiles, and Hades feels a tug of sadness- Bethany's smile was exactly like Mother's. Carver's too.. when he chose to smile instead of scowl.

  
"You're right. I think I shall visit the Chantry. I know you went to services yesterday with me, would you like to come along though?"

Hades shakes his head, bending just slightly to kiss his mother on the cheek. "No. I reached my limit for sermons this month I believe. Besides it's Sister Vivallia's turn and she's quite..."

"Anti mage," Mother says softly, her smile dimming then. "Yes.. I didn't realize it would be her today. Have you memorized who does the sermons on each day?"

"Nearly. For my own sake though Mother. It's difficult reaching for faith, trying to find it and hold onto it, without having the fact that what I am seems to be an offense to the Maker. I'm glad going has helped us with--"

"Us.. and Carver, Bethany.. your father," she says softly.

Hades swallows, nods. "I don't know how Father did it really. He had such faith, such conviction in his beliefs," Like Meredith. "He called himself Andrastian, but the Chantry called his magic wrong, calls us wrong..."

"He didn't believe in the Chantry dear. He believed in Andraste," Mother counters. "The Chantry... I don't go to those sermons for the Chantry, but for Andraste. For the beliefs she had, carried with her. He had his doubts in his faith, but I never saw him lose his faith. Your father was fond of a saying 'Magic exists to serve man, never to rule over him.' " She smiles at that. "It's why we initially discarded the idea of going to Tevinter."

Hades blinks rapidly at that news, feeling a bit..well, shocked. "Tevinter?"

She nods, her eyes going distant, clearly recalling the memory. "It was during our travels once we were able to leave Kirkwall. Trying to decide where to go... we discussed Tevinter once, I brought it up because I figured we would be safer there. We wouldn't have to worry about templars hunting us, or any of our children should they prove to be magical. Your father... I have to give him credit for not outright discarding it." Mother laughs softly. "He had as much to say about Tevinter as he did about the Chantry. I imagine it must have been quite the sight if anyone saw it. Two people, arguing by a well used carriage, me with evidence of being with child, arguing about the merits of Tevinter."

Hades couldn't help but grin at that, finding himself imagining what Fenris's reaction to this story might be. _The merits of Tevinter._

Anders seemed to respect Tevinter, they spoke about it during the times Hades worked at the clinic. But Anders couldn't seem to see the bad. He dismissed Fenris's experience, because as he once said _"Fenris is not a mage, he was a slave, so yes he would see Tevinter harshly."_  
  
"Was Father surprised you suggested it?"

Mother made a face, one he recognized as her trying to recall something. "Surprise? Hmm. Perhaps. He pulled on the reigns of the horses so suddenly, the carriage came to a jerky stop and one of the wheels had to be fixed. I didn't seem to truly understand his agitation and continued to question it while he fixed the wheel. Needless to say it was quite the discussion." There's a slight smirk there now and Hades holds up a hand.

"Please... no."

Mother laughs. "Oh very well, I will spare you. But during it, he quoted that Commandment, very seriously. He was adamant in his belief that Tevinter abuses those words as  
much as the Chantry does. He did agree that while we would be safe there in one way, he countered that it did not mean we would be safe from other dangers. So it was agreed then not to go and try our luck elsewhere."   
  
"Hmm. Perhaps it's all well and good. Fenris likes you Mother, I'll make sure not to tell him about your slip in judgement," Hades teases, his tone soft.   
  
"Oh my yes, please. So, I suppose going to a service is out of the question. Now that you mentioned her, Sister Vivalia is quite... well.."

Someone that would probably work well with Petrice. "Long winded?"

"Judgmental and boring," Mother states flatly, but then her expression goes soft. "Besides she insults my oldest, even if we must keep the best of him quiet."

Hades hugs his mother then- they had their difficulties, their problems, their arguments. But in the end, they had each other, once they were able to find a way past their grief.   
  


**Darktown- Anders Clinic- A Few Hours Later**

Hades gratefully takes a waterskin from Anders, feeling like he used up just about everything in him, magic wise, with the outbreak he walked into. Darktown seems to be constantly hit with them, and while he appreciated the challenge and busy work, he wished he could help more, other than just healing.   
  
He takes a long drink, then watches as Anders, who looks as exahusted as he feels, sits down on a crate and takes a long swig of his own.  
  
"You always seem to be here when I need it," Anders says quietly.   
  
Hades shrugs it off. "It's good to work." Working with Anders like this, was like working with his father. Both Malcolm and Anders had an intensity as they put so much of themselves into healing. He knew this wasn't Justice, but Anders.   
  
He didn't spend much time with Anders outside of the clinic- his being possessed was the biggest reason why. As much as Hades respected the man for his beliefs, his ideals, he just could not risk having him along despite how his healing abilities would help on even the most dangerous undertakings they've taken.   
  
"What have you two boys been up to?"

Hades has just enough energy to turn to his right to see Isabela swaggering into the clinic, Merrill not to far behind. Fenris is with them both, not exactly looking pleased but not looking like he might kill someone either... unless Anders says something.   
  
He then spots a cut on Merrill's arm, and some bruises on Isabela's dark skin.   
  
He is unable to help himself- "Merrill! Did you--"

"What?" Merill widens her eyes at him. "Did I what Hawke?"

"Your arm, Kitten. He thinks you might have used blood magic in public," Isabela says with a smile towards the elf.   
  
Hades feels his cheeks warm at the hurt look on Merrill's face.  
  
"The witch did not," Fenris states in his _'Why me'_ voice. "I stumbled upon Isabela hear getting into a fight--"

"Duel."  
  
"Yes, a duel. Over the witch's honor." He says the last word in a scornful tone. "She's a blood mage. There is no honor to be had."

"Now now Fenris, lets not be mean to Kitten," Isabela glares at Fenris and he just huffs. She turns back to Hades. "Fenris saw me fighting, because someone was quite rude and demeaning to Merrill and I didn't want her to expose her magic in Lowtown, even by accident. Merrill tried to help, but she got hurt."

"I wouldn't use my magic like that," Merrill says softly and Hades feels shame at his own jumping to conclusions.  
  
"I apologize Merrill. I did not mean to, it's just--" He doesn't really have the right words to make this right he thinks. "I apologize. I can heal that if you like."

"Oh yes would you? It's why we came here. Fenris suggested it actually. He said that Anders could heal Isabela and you might heal me, since I'm rubbish at healing. "  
He doubted Fenris said it in those words exactly, and one look over at Fenris confirms it.   
  
  


**Lowtown- Gamlen's Home- Late Night**

 

He's still exhausted when he returns home, just a few hours later. Gamlen and Mother have both already retired to their rooms. Luthias picked his head up, letting out a soft woof when he sees Hades, then gets up and crosses the room. Hades rests a hand on his mabari's head, scratching at the ear as he looks over the small pile of messages.   
When he does, there are two messages waiting for him. One from very familiar handwriting, and another.. not quite familiar.

  
But it has the seal of the _Viscount_ on it. 

After giving Luthias some attention he finally heads to his bed, trying not to groan loudly when he finally falls into it.

  
Once he settles himself, he first opens Meredith's message.

**_I have heard you may be getting some good news._ **   
  
**_Dinner after._ **   
  
**_Kirkwall._ **

He grins, not surprised she may have heard. With Meredith's eyes also on the Keep, she no doubt has more knowledge on the comings and goings of what goes on there than Aveline and him combined. 

Setting it aside, he opens the next message. 

**_To Hades Hawke and Leandra Amell-Hawke_**  
  
 ** _Your petition on your claim to have the Amell assets returned to you has been heard. The two of you are requested to be at the office of the Viscount in two days at mid day to hear the verdict._**  
  
 ** _Do not be late. It will not reflect well._**  
  
 ** _Seneschal Bran Corvin._ **  
  
Hades closes his eyes, decides it would not hurt to pray briefly, hoping that this will be the answer they need.  
  
  
  
**Gallows**  
 **Knight Commander's Quarters**

Meredith kneels before the alter of Andraste, praying for continued guidance and addition to her strength for when the day dawns tomorrow.

She always feels strength and peace doing this. She also prays for Hades, as he continues in his reach for faith. For Andraste to send him what Meredith has had help guide her throughout her life.   
  
Conviction. Faith. Determination. Will. Duty.   
  
_Kirkwall needs more than that..._  
  
She frowns at that thought. Where did that come from?   
  
What she has to carry her throughout her day, her position, her desire to protect Kirkwall is more than enough.   
  
_It is enough for now... but more dangers will come. Certainty is the ultimate power in belief._   
  
Meredith shakes her head at that thought, wondering if she is simply tired. She ha never had doubts about what she can do.   
  
Sleep is needed here.   
  
She will be fine in the morning. 


	11. Interlude- Year Three- Seneschal Bran and Meredith

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another brief chapter.

**Year Three Interlude**  
**Viscount Keep**

 

The Seneschal eyes both Hades and his mother, giving no hint of what he is feeling except what Hades can sense. Mild disdain.

"The Viscount's attention has been diverted to another important matter, but he has graciously given me the responsibility to inform you of the results of your petition." Each word is said as if the Seneschal is merely doing this only because he has to, the disdain he weaves in the words evident.

If it wasn't for the fact that Hades had to hear it from many of the people here during his first year, he would not have recognized the tone.

Mother's left hand grips his suddenly, and he refrains from wincing at how tightly she holds it.

"The Amell Assets, as listed- the estate, items of value that were sold to cover debts, debts owed by other noble families, compensation from the damages of said estate  requested from the Tevinter family that once held it, and the title of Lady and Lord are once again in your possession," this time Seneschal Bran sounds bored, but the disdain is still there. "How you receive your compensation from the family, as well as the noble families who owe the estate money,  is up to you, you will need an arbitrator to such matters, something we do not handle here." 

_Finally._

  
**Later That Evening- Knight Commander's Estate**

  
Dinner is over, the plates and cups washed and setting on the table to dry. Hades and Meredith sitting once more on the couch that over the past three years have been witness to so many of their talks.. and other things.  
  
The last couple months things have been getting a little more... more. Hades has been always respectful of Meredith's boundaries, and even though he wants more, he knows better and he waits. Patient.  
  
Right now, they're indulging it seems. Possibly because of his good news, but he doesn't mind. At the moment his hands are able to wander, as he kisses her. His heat against her coolness is like a nice clash as they both get lost in the other.

It's not hard to get lost in the feeling of Meredith. Her cool hands against his heated skin, one on his neck, the other on his chest.

After a few minutes, he finds himself on his back on the couch, the kiss breaking as Meredith smiles, looking quite satsified.

"I see you had plots tonight," he teases, resting his right hand on her hip.

"Not many, just a few."

"Well whatever you may plot, I don't mind following along."

He gets a bigger smile then, and something rarer- a deep laugh, her ice blue eyes gleaming with humor as she leans down kissing him softly, before resting her forehead against his.  
  
"Do you remember that talk we had?" She asks softly.

"Which one? We've had many, my Kirkwall," he counters.  
  
"A few nights back when we got a little too caught up before we came to our senses?"

Ohh..oh yes **that** night.

_Heavy breaths, racing hearts, yearning for more  
_  
_Kisses on neck, hands on skin underneath shirts.  
_  
_Bodies curled into each other_

He clears his throat and wills his body to not respond to the memory. Somehow they came to their senses before going farther than they were ready for at the time, and realized that too much time had passed for more than the expressed desire to talk about things later as Meredith had to get her armor back on and get back to the Gallows.  
Quite honestly the whole thing reminded him of being a teenager but he was wise not to share that thought with her.

"I started thinking not tonight, but soon."  
  
And there goes any attempt of his body not responding.


	12. Interlude- Year Three- Time To Themselves

**Interlude- Year Three- A Month Before Act 2**  
  
It took several months to sort everything out. 

  
To get compensation from the Tevinter family, who finally paid only so Hades would stop sending letters, to track down items that were sold off from debts (Gamlen's debts) and other financial aspects that needed to be corrected.

  
Then there was the matter of the estate itself. The Tevinters who used it as a slave trade, didn't keep it up well. There was plenty of damage, parts of the home that needed to be restored before moving in. Cleaning up and around, just... trying to make everything right again.  
  
In between that, Varric was busy managing the guild and his other responsibilities heaped onto him by Bartrand's departure (although Hades did hear a rumor that the older dwarf had surfaced briefly but Varric waved it off), he was also helping finishing up the accounts from the Deep Roads. The last time they spoke, there were only two left.  
  
Then there was Bodahn. And Sandal.  
Bodahn heard about the estate being given back to Hades and tracked him down at the Hanged Man one night, offering his help in managing the estate and everything when they moved in, to repay Hades finding Sandal.

  
Hades didn't have the heart to refuse the passionately given offer. In accepting it, he got the story of how the Here of Ferelden, Zatrahel Surana, came to an agreement with Bodahn on him following the Warden and his companions throughout the Blight.  


On the other front- Meredith, things between them stalled.

Business at the Gallows kept their visits sparse for a couple months, and the few times they saw each other, she didn't seem up for much more than just company. She shared only a few pieces, what he senses she could, but other than that it just seemed like she and the First Enchanter were butting heads about a lot of things.

She actually fell asleep a couple times before they could eat, and he figured she was also having sleeping troubles. He tried not to pry too much beyond his usual concern, but she waved it off saying long nights.

He had sensed there was something else, but he couldn't risk pressing... not with his own secret that he kept. He simply wished he could help.. but he wouldn't be able to unless she opened up, which was hard enough with her own natural reserve.

The conversation they had two weeks ago ended up shedding some light.

_"Am I protecting Kirkwall enough?" She asked quietly from her spot next to him on the couch. "I sometimes feel... I feel like I may not be doing enough."_

_He frowns. "You are. No one can question your dedication, Meredith. Conviction, faith, strength.. you carry all of that on you, while keeping watch over templars and the mages in your care."_

_She still seems troubled though despite his words. "Sometimes it feels not enough."_

_This was different. She never stated that before. He wonders if their relationship is now bothering her, making her think she is not as devoted and dedicated as she should be. He has never seen her questioning like this._

_"You do enough, Meredith," he said gently. "Always. Everything. You've sacrificed plenty to do your duty. Never let anything or anyone make you doubt it."_

He wasn't sure if it helped, but a few days later she sent him a letter.

**I feel like I was not quite myself that night- our times together are short as it is. I had spoken with a confidant and it was decided I needed a short break. I am allotted two weeks of time off and although I have only taken those allotted breaks four times in my time as a templar. Sometimes, as someone told me, one needs time to recharge to rededicate oneself to ones duty. So I have two weeks off my Fereldan, and I am currently recharging. After three days of much needed rest, I feel more like myself.** **Dinner tonight.**

**This time, we do not have restrictions in time.  
  
Kirkwall.**

**Later That Night- The Knight Commander's Estate**

 

 

Dinner turned into...

Dinner turned into something really _good._

The last few days that Meredith had here at the estate did indeed seem to help. She was not tired, when he came in. She was well rested, she seemed herself, and she waved off his concerned questions saying that it was clear she needed a brief rest.

Dinner was simple, and when the dishes were soaking in the wash bucket, Hades found himself being distracted by Meredith. In the lantern light, wearing her casual clothes- a red tunic and black trousers, barefoot like him ... and gorgeous, he felt lost.

This time they didn't go to the couch.

This time they went upstairs.

A match had been lit it felt like, as if knowing neither needed to leave in a couple hours.

It was another celebration of sorts.

Kisses and sighs, hands on skin, fingers in hair, shivers down the spine, hot and cool skin exposed.

No words spoken as they fell to the bed. No need for words, they just seemed to know what they wanted.

Now, it was hours later, and he was awake, her head on his chest, his own heart still beating rapidly.

Guilt was part of his reasoning for being awake- that secret he had to keep. The secret that he will always have to keep. Meredith may love him, but she has her set views on magic, on Apostates.

Now they've crossed a line they cannot back away from, and he feels more attached than ever. Is love supposed to be like this? This complicated?

Ugh, his mind. His conscience. He couldn't just enjoy this wonderful night with the woman he loves, he has to be plagued by his guilt and his worries.

"You're interrupting my sleep," he hears Meredith murmur.

And now somehow his mental worrying woke her. He does his best to push everything to the side and focus on her, the now, and try to figure things out later. "I am deeply regretful that I have interrupted your sleep."

"We have time Hades," She murmurs, kissing his chest and making him think other things now. "For once, we have time, and I say we take advantage of said time."

He chuckles. "I suppose so." He brushes back her hair, the blonde strands soft, as she moves upward, planting her hands on both sides of his head as she looks down at him.

The look in her eyes say it all and all Hades can do is grin, before she kiss him once more. He wraps an arm around her smooth back, and rolls them the both over, wondering how long this time Meredith will let him take the lead.

He focuses on the here and now, because the here and now is good.

To Be Continued... In Act 2 


End file.
